By: Lilah Sanchez
I’ve always wondered why I acted differently around certain people. In history, I’m quiet, but I’ll talk if you get me going. In English, I’m funny and loud. But why am I so quiet in AP Psychology? Depending on who or what you’re around, we may adjust our behaviors to fit the expectations of the environment. Social norms and social context also play an important role by influencing the unwritten rules of a setting. For example, talking to another student versus a teacher. Around a teacher, you’ll likely be more respectful and formal, but around your friends, you’ll talk more casually, and maybe even be a bit louder. According to Barron’s AP Psychology book, “humans seem naturally influenced by what they think others are doing.” We haven’t changed, but the situation and setting has. People’s actions don’t only rely on them as people, but also the setting and the context of the situation.
Lots of the time I lie awake at night, attempting to figure myself out. I wonder, “who am I, really?” I think of the words of others that still linger in my mind, places that bring me peace, and the songs that I can hear myself in. The desire to know who I truly am and what I want easily overwhelms the rest of my thoughts. Maybe part of the reason I have so much trouble with knowing who I am is because I wear a mask. Humans put on an act, or a mask, around others to be accepted, to feel safe, and to avoid criticism. Sometimes, I might laugh a little louder, hide an opinion, or try to become someone I think others will like more. Sometimes I wonder if I’m in the wrong for being “fake” but isn’t it just human nature to want to belong?
The mask covers your face, but you can still see the eyes. You can’t fully erase your true identity, you can just suppress parts of it. Even if you don’t know who you are yet, there will always be pieces of you that will never fade. That one song you find yourself constantly listening to, the color you paint your nails every other week, the show you watch every winter. Maybe identity isn’t just one version of ourselves, but a collection of tiny pieces that create a whole, like a puzzle. We have to put pieces of ourselves together to solve the mystery of who we are. If I were able to answer my own question, I would. But I’m not sure who I am. Maybe the goal isn’t to find one version of ourselves, but to understand the pieces that make us whole.