I lay down staring up at the ceiling

I cannot sleep

My mind has become a raging sea of thoughts

Ambivalence soon takes over me—

A feeling that is hard to articulate in words . . .

 

I start to over analyze every situation that took place in that given day

Feelings of anxiety, sadness, and regret haunt the back of mind.

I cannot escape them.

 

My thoughts jump from one place to another

Like a never-ending catastrophic spiral

This is too much for my brain to handle—

I try to fight them

 

But my mind continues to blabber away;

I tell myself that I should just let all these things go

But I cannot

The world begins to collapse on top of me

And I drown out all other sounds

So that all I can hear are my own self-destructive thoughts

“Why must I do this to myself?” I ask

But I know I can’t control it

I know that no matter what I do

These feelings will find a way to disrupt my mind.

 

Hours go by . . .

And eventually, the chaotic orbit of thoughts begins to settle down

And for that brief moment, everything is calm

And I rest

 

For I know the next night my mind will do it all over again.

 

 

 

Photo Credits: Pinterest

 

Written by

Anna Moeller

Anna Moeller, senior, has enjoyed writing ever since elementary school. Joining the Humanities Academy has allowed her to further develop her love for writing as it is an outlet for her to express her thoughts and emotions. She specifically loves to detail life experiences that others can connect with and find comfort in. In her free time, Anna loves to play music, journal, browse Pinterest, and grab coffee with friends.