Sunlight reflected off the sharp metal beneath my thigh, blinding my right eye and causing me to squint. For such an easily fixable inconvenience, the stress coursing through my blood in this monumental moment paralyzes me. I allow the bright light to continue bothering me. My legs dangling over this ledge of warm metal with thousands of feet between them and the floor feels oddly comforting considering the consequences of one wrong move. Or one right move, I should say.
Beads of sweat grow on my forehead, and my sweaty palms seem a definite red flag as well. Just stop overthinking this. But I can’t manage to pull my heartbeat out of my stomach and the thrashing wind brings on just enough contrasting coolness to trigger true nausea.
Why am I doing this to myself? All I know is I cannot keep living this mundane and barren way of life. Who would have thought that a simple act of individuality would be so agony inducing. I can’t help my swaying motion as I look down at my feet with the unwelcoming earth beneath me. I feel as though I’m on the verge of losing consciousness, but all I can think about is how happy I’ll be when this is all over. Just let it come to an end. I’m begging for this to finally end.
Now I’m second guessing this decision, but it feels as though it’s too late for me to take it back. I want it all to end, so things can finally be better. The only way I can make it better is if I go.
I jump.
My numbness is overtaken by the freeing sensation of flight. The weight of my body is instantly embraced by the grasp of gravity as I am tugged downwards towards the quickly advancing earth. But then it lets me go. My parachute spreads its vibrant wings and sails my awkwardly lifeless looking body back down to where we began.
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