Sunlight, darkness it is all the same to me as I lay still under the bright blue moonlight. I fear what is to come as I know the end is drawing near. The old familiar pain slowly creeps back up from the soles of my feet to the top of my spine. I lay there, shaking and trembling, as sensation is lost in my lower limbs. The pain quickly vanishes and I enter a peaceful state of mind. The cool crisp air flows in and I smell the salty air from the ocean. The smell brings me back to summers at the beach with my parents, now long gone. I lay here now isolated and alone with no one by my side to comfort me.

I hear the laughs and screams of teens on a late August night, dancing in the streets under the bright streetlights. They live in bliss carefree in their youth. If only they knew of all the trials and tribulations good and bad that lie ahead of them. Oh to be young and naive again with your whole lifetime ahead of you. It passes by in a blink of an eye and in a flash you are lying in this godforsaken place left and forgotten. No one will remember you when you are gone, after a few years you are nothing but a distant memory. 

Now in my last moments I begin to think of all my mistakes and missed opportunities in my life. Oh, to go back and rewrite my wrongs and apologize to those closest. If I had made these different choices then maybe I wouldn’t be lying here alone on my deathbed. As my body slowly decays from the inside out I realize that I will die, completely and utterly alone with no one by my side and with no one to remember me. As I breathe my shallow breaths I know that I have lost what I thought I had plenty of, time.


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