It is like gasping for air every time you talk or walk in crowded spaces. As social anxiety kicks in, it paralyzes you as you feel judged––eyes looking at you. But are they really? Or is it your mind playing tricks? It feels like you are singled out in a room or anything you do, as it takes over you.
Living with anxiety tends to progress each day into anxiety attacks or panic attacks. It overwhelms you, and you start to panic. By then, you develop anxiety shivers or tics that many do not tend to notice. This can be in school, in public, or anywhere. It happens unexpectedly.
Many think that anxiety is a mental illness, but do not notice that it takes over your entire life. Anxiety does not just go away. You feel pressured to speak out loud, participate, or engage in conversations while anxiety attacks the nervous system. As you keep looking around to see if people are staring, as the feeling of eyes all over, frightens you. It is not like you have not tried to manage how to deal with it, the feeling just does not go away.
The feeling suffocates you throughout the day. Letting yourself panic a little during the day, but then need to act as if you are fine for the rest of the day. With anxiety, you do not want other people to know. At school, many are social and many are not. They are silent. Many just do not like to engage in a conversation with people they do not know, but with close friends they are very social. No one really knows everyone’s stories.
When entering a room, many expect you to talk or engage in conversation. As much as your brain tries, your body does not react. Then your brain and nervous system go into overdrive. Wanting to talk to someone, but not having the courage or words to do so is frustrating. Your own mind can take control of your body if you let it.
Overthinking tends to take over the thoughts in your head. As the mind goes, “did I forget to do an assignment?” Or even worse in mere seconds. This overloads the mind with burning questions. By this, it causes memory loss, and many blanks throughout the day. Not being able to comprehend anything or manage a way to memorize the material; zoning out, as you let yourself escape your mind for a bit from reality.
By fidgeting with your hands or jewelry because you do not know how to act or function. Trying to control how to breathe, so others around do not notice. Anxiety restricts you from being able to express yourself in a certain way. Restricts you from just being yourself because Anxiety is always there with you. There is no escape. Just your own mind and yourself.
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