If everything we feel
is just a chemical reaction in the brain
then what’s the difference
between normal and insane?
Is it an extra neurotransmitter
following its pathway
doing what it believes to be right?
Or is it a complex web of
undertakings and impulses
leading one’s life in an attempt to survive?
Who’s to say I’ve not gone insane?
I’ve hurt and I’ve wept
and I’ve laughed and I’ve danced
I’ve broken the rules and I’ve broken myself
far too many times to count
Have I crossed a line somewhere?
Have I pushed it too far?
Have I fought for something
I wasn’t supposed to be fighting for?
Have I gone
If we are only here
for a fragmentary period
of inhales and exhales
that last for less than a moment
on the cosmological scale
does anything we do matter?
The only thing time does is pass
the only thing we can do is remember
so when no one is left to remember
the way we smiled and cried
the way we loved and lived
when the world has moved on
from the people we were
will it have mattered?
Will any of it have mattered?
Does anything we do matter?
Does anything I do matter?
If we are beings of happenstance
a mirage of a miracle tied together
through millennia of sex and chance
built off the backs of
a 1 in 10 to the 90,000th power chance
of the stars
falling into alignment
If we are biological machines
made of meat and blood and ashes
so complexly and fundamentally broken
and vulnerable in our structures
meant only to live
Then what is the point in living?
What meaning is there in merely surviving?
Am I merely surviving?
Have I ever truly felt
Photo Credit: Kalina Nikolova