By: Kailey Chang
March 31, 1950
5:00 AM
Wake before he does, lest he see you in your natural state. Brush teeth thoroughly. Apply a moisturizing face mask to prime your face for makeup, and apply cuticle oil as you wait. Wash the mask off thoroughly and pat face dry with a clean towel. Take out pins and set the pin curls with pomade. Apply makeup to look natural, but put together. Cover your bruises. Don’t apply lipstick yet. Apply the lipstick when your husband is awake to maintain the illusion that you’re otherwise barefaced.
5:50 AM
Return to bed. Pretend you were asleep the entire time. Let his alarm go off and wait for him to turn it off. Let him admire your “sleeping” self first before he wakes you. When he does, smile upon seeing him. Let him think he is the first thing you’ve seen today, and the first reason you’ve smiled.
6:00 AM
Wake the children. Make breakfast for your husband and children. Prepare lunch for them simultaneously. Ensure that the food is to their liking. Make sure they eat sufficiently. See them off with a kiss and a smile.
7:00 AM
Clean the table. Clean the rest of the kitchen while you’re at it. Actually, make sure you tidy the rest of the house. Do the laundry. And the ironing.
11:00 AM
Weigh yourself and write the number in the notebook your husband so graciously provided you. He’ll look over the numbers while he and the children eat dinner. The notebook is really so helpful! It’s the only way I can ever keep track of things. Speaking of things to keep track of, don’t forget that the children’s back sale is…wait, when is it? Ah, it’s tomorrow. Thank goodness for the notebook! Well, make sure you walk to the store to buy supplies. It’ll count towards your 15 minutes of daily gentle exercise.
1:00 PM
Finish baking. Realize that you forgot to buy an ingredient for dinner and promptly run back to the store. It’s your fault for forgetting to write it down in your notebook.
2:00 PM
Since you’ve already tidied up the house, all that’s left to do is tidy up the kitchen. Again. Then sweep the house. Then mop.
3:00 PM
The children have come home from school! Help them with their homework with the limited knowledge you’ve been provided. Fix them a light, after-school snack. Stop their fighting.
5:00 PM
Prepare dinner. Break up the children’s fight. Tell your young daughter that she shouldn’t speak her mind so freely as a girl. It’s improper. Set the table. Touch up your makeup for your husband’s arrival. Dim the lights slightly and make sure the house is relaxing and quiet.
7:00 PM
Greet your husband with a smile and a kiss. Don’t burden him with your troubles, don’t tell him about your day. If he asks, tell him it was lovely and that you’re endlessly grateful to be his wife with no concerns of your own. Do whatever he pleases for the rest of the night, but don’t forget to clear the table and do the dishes. Try not to do anything that would warrant a fresh bruise.
11:30 PM
Once he’s asleep, take off your makeup. Go to the children’s room and contemplate whether or not it was all worth it. Pray your children are afforded a better life.
January 1, 1973
5:54 PM
Pick up your daughter’s phone call. Tell her she shouldn’t have married that beating, cheating, rotten scoundrel of a man in any case, though you know that you would’ve done the same. You did do the same. Tell her to leave him. Listen to her protest. Tell her to come over.
6:02 PM
Hug her trembling form at the door. Take her back to her childhood room, sit her on her bed. Notice the swell of her stomach and realize why she cannot leave. Tell her you have been in her shoes. Tell her she has an option you were never afforded, however improper it may be. Pray she has the courage you lacked.
November 11, 2024
6:24 PM
Watch from beyond. Watch your daughter pick up her own daughter’s phone call. Watch your daughter struggle for words of consolation. There is no longer an option.
Pray they’ll have the courage you always lacked. Pray they’ll preserve their fires within instead of dampening their noise for the comfort of a cycle we’ve known to fail. Pray they’ll burn with the light of every generation before them—a light that will never go out.
Photo Credit: Jeanette Ja
